Damn Computer

I finally found a copy of Beyond Good and Evil. The only problem is it’s a PC version. It’s supposed to be able to play on my computer, but the driver I need messes up my screen resolutions and crashes the program. It won’t run. Very frustrating. In the last week I’ve reinstalled both Windows XP and Ubuntu twice on this machine because of the screw-ups trying to play this game. I wish I could find it for PS2 or GameCube, but for as great a game it is there’s not many copies around.

Since reinstalling I’ve been having problems with the integrated XP SP2 networking. It constantly says “acquiring network address” even though I have an IP and am obviously connected to the router. It’s not just a wireless problem, because it did the same thing when I plugged in with my LAN connection. But it’s not the router because everyone else’s computers are fine. There’s a fix for this from microsoft.com, which I installed, but that didn’t change anything. I am at a loss for what to do.

I still need to find out why Linux won’t give me all my possible screen resolutions. Apparently that’s another problem that comes with my video card. Crappy Intel integrated crap that needs weird drivers and messes with things!

Edit: My computer is now dead. Wonderful.

April's Fool…(me)

While poking around the ‘net the other day, I came across a press release for a new handheld gaming device Apple was developing (with pictures):

Apple Announces The gPod® Handheld Gaming System

Cupertino, CA (AP) April 1, 2005 — Apple® Computer, Inc. (NASDAQ: AAPL) today unveiled plans for a first-generation handheld gaming system, dubbed gPod®. Combining the best features of the iPod® with cutting-edge gaming technology and a full color wide-screen, the gPod is expected to be available in early 2006.

“The gPod will be the next must-have consumer electronics device,” said Steve Jobs, Apple’s CEO. “It has enormous appeal for music lovers, movie lovers and gamers alike. And with wireless integration, it can surf the Internet from thousands of wireless hotspots around the world.”

gPod is based on iPod’s pioneering design and interface, and will run on a optimized version of the Mac OS called “Cheshire.” Featuring a 300MHz G4 processor, 512 MB of RAM, 32 MB of dedicated video RAM and a 2 GB hard drive, gPod will have more than enough power to run the latest in contemporary video games. Integrated 802.11b/g wireless will allow multiplayer gaming between gPods or over the Internet.

gPod will work effortlessly with Apple’s iTunes®, providing music lovers with access to the iTunes Music Store, the world’s leading digital music service. Additionally, the gPod will have the ability to download movies and games on demand from Apple’s new Internet Movie and Video Game services. gPod will use Apple’s patent-pending Auto-Sync, which works seamlessly with iTunes to automatically download an entire digital library onto gPod with just one click, keeping it up-to-date whenever gPod is plugged into a Mac® or Windows computer using USB 2.0. Plugging directly into the USB 2.0 port will also conveniently charge the gPod. One connection does it all.*

“The video game business has grown to $10 billion, eclipsing the Hollywood box-office” says Apple spokesman Sal Pagicmants, “Now, Apple will revolutionize gaming the same way it revolutionized the music industry. Truly, we are on the verge of a Game Revolution.”

Pricing & Availability
The 2GB and 4GB models of gPod for Mac or Windows are expected to be available worldwide in Q1 2006. Pricing has not yet been determined, but gPod will be “very competitively” priced against current portable gaming systems.

All gPods will include rechargeable batteries with a limited number of charge cycles and may eventually need to be replaced. Battery life and number of charge cycles vary by use and settings. See www.apple.com/batteries for more information.

*Firewire options require an optional cable adapter, sold separately.

I thought, “This has got to be the coolest thing ever!” Later, after thinking it over, it sounded to me a little off. If you read it not-so-carefully, there are many clues that such a thing is not real. The date of the release being a big one. I’m not even embarassed for believing it though, since if it were real I’d get one in a second.

So, my question to you is this: What April Fool’s gags have you come across that you wish were real?