Self-Conflicting Affliction

I realised something just now. I’ve never said anything good about myself. I’ll say things about things I’ve done, or that other people have said about me. But I have never said anything complimentary about my self.
I understand why, partly. I don’t value my opinion. I guess that must be great for those people that do value my opinion. What does that say if I don’t think it’s worth anything for myself?
To be clear though, I think some of my opinions are valid, just not the ones having to do with me. Growing up, I never thought I was worth anything. Most of the time it was a challenge to just get up in the morning. There were a few people that made me think otherwise, or I wouldn’t still be here.
I’m just starting to realise how much I can be, how important I am to some in certain respects. I guess I am learning to value myself as a person, an individual. Learning that it is important to be myself and cherish the things that make me unique, whatever they happen to be.


I have no idea what brought this thought into my head, but as I was falling asleep yesterday I realized something. I am afraid of death. Not afraid, exactly, but I have a healthy respect for it now.

A much more important revelation sprung from that one. It’s not that I’m worried about how or what comes after, the reason is that I now have motivation for living. I want to stay on this earth as long as I possibly can.