That’s what I feel is the background music for my level of anxiety at this point in the semester. Every time, when I get to the last three weeks, I feel like it’s a crazy rushing hither and thither trying to finish all the group assignments and major projects while doing all the normal stuff. Add to that the special hell that are CIP exams right at the end and it’s a struggle to hold it all together and find time for everything without panicking.

At the same time, while I may feel like I’m freaking out and about to lose my mind, I’ve actually got my shit together and am doing fine. Subjectively I thought I’ve been doing poorly this term compared to last, but so far I’m getting 93 and 94 on things most of the time instead of 96 or 97. So it is overall lower but not by so much that a normal person would even notice a difference or care.

I am also in the midst of applying and interviewing for co-op jobs for the summer, some of which will be starting the second week of April after the CIP exams are finished.

So far I interviewed for one job I didn’t get, but was runner-up and the boss said apply next April and he’ll likely hire me on permanently. I had a phone interview for another job but was told they were waiting to hear back from their former co-op student and if she agreed to come on board full time they wouldn’t need me. The next morning it turned out she accepted (or he, I don’t know but prefer female pronouns) and so no job there either. Then yesterday I get a call from the place I really really want to work and I made it past the phone screen so I’m interviewing on Tuesday.

I kicked ass on the Fraud midterm (97% – highest mark in the class) and am still reeling from that since I had no idea I’d done that well. Even better it’s a second-year course and I am keeping up or doing better than the students who should be more experienced at this than I am. That is nice and makes me feel competent at this insurance stuff.